NEWS: WWE Veterans Crash Last Night's Hall of Fame Ceremony

April 01, 2017

NEWS: WWE Veterans Crash Last Night's Hall of Fame Ceremony

NEWS: Each year WWE inducts some of the most legendary names in wrestling to their prestigious Hall of Fame. This year inductees included; Kurt Angle, Beth Phoenix, "Ravishing" Rick Rude, Teddy Long, Diamond Dallas Page, the Rock N' Roll Express and others. The mood at every Hall of Fame ceremony is one of jubilation, reflection, and a humility that is often expressed through tears of joy. Each year; however, WWE fans argue over who was most recently snubbed. Owen Hart isn't in the Hall of Fame yet. Chyna isn't in the Hall of Fame yet. The Rock isn't in the Hall of Fame yet. Even Vince McMahon isn't in the Hall of Fame yet. Fans go back and forth arguing snubs to no avail. The selection process is not a matter of a vote or democracy. This year; however, some former WWE Superstars took their outrage over being snubbed out on the entire ceremony. When Abe "KnuckleBall" Schwartz started throwing hardballs at the Hall of Fame nominees, fans did a double take. Was this really Abe Schwartz, the failed 1990s gimmick, of a disgruntled baseball star? Schwartz apparently was angry over what he considered a huge Hall of Fame snub,

"Koko B. Ware is in the Hall of Fame for God's sake. What did he ever do? They put Koko in when he owes everything to Frankie, a freeking bird for God's sake. Do you know how hard it was to paint my face like a baseball every night? Do you have any idea?"

The madness didn't end with Schwartz. Charles Wright was an inductee last year; but, WWE's corporate office must have been aghast when he came dressed as Papa Shango this year, in protest of Godfather getting in,

"Yes, Godfather had tons of women; but, only when he paid! Papa Shango had tons of women, by charming them! Plus only one man made the Ultimate Warrior bleed green."

As Shango grew angrier, he shook his magic stick toward the heavens and Ric Flair began to randomly and uncontrollably shed tears while watching the ceremony. Akeem the 450 pound white man who played the role of Akeem the African Dream showed up with protest sign in tow, as did Mantaur, and Gilberg, who physically attacked Goldberg, causing Goldberg to leave the ceremony early. Konnan showed up as Max Moon and Vince McMahon stated,

"Max Moon deserves to be in the Hall of Fame and will be one day, obviously; but, there are still some big names we are considering that must get in first. For example, the Gobbledy Gooker and the late great Bastion Booger are two that are front runners for next year's class. We take the process seriously and debate exhaustively and deliberately for months on end. Max Moon will receive the same amount of deliberation as we did when we inducted the very deserving Drew Carey."

Friar Ferguson screamed aloud,

"Blasphemy! Why would they induct Rick Rude? He was indecent and gyrated his hips like Elvis in heat. That is not PG, not family entertainment. This is simply wrong."

Bob Backlund nodded his head in silent approval. Ferguson then began to tear his robe in protest. Becky Lynch passed out. Bayley vomited on her date. Things took a turn for the worse when a garbage truck driven by Duke "the Dumpster" Droese crashed into the building spilling garbage all over Maryse and Nikki Bella, who then proceeded to argue over whose garbage was more chic, as the Total Divas cameras rolled. That's when Battle Cat jumped from the ceiling. Stephanie McMahon chuckled,

"I used to actually like you when I was a kid. Jesus, what have you been doing all these years and where have you been?"

Battle Cat announced,

"My entire gimmick was only cover for a huge multi-national investigation. I have been working for the FBI. You are all under arrest."

Stephanie McMahon, wide eyed and in shock, asked,

"Whatever for?"

Battle Cat replied,

"In 2013, Donald J. Trump was elected to the WWE Hall of Fame. It appears there was Russian collusion in the process. Do you know a gentleman named Pat Patterson?"

Stephanie nodded.

"Pat Patterson is a Russian spy and has been working as a KGB agent for the last 50 years."

Patterson snuck out of the back and as he did, Vince McMahon whistled.

"Alright, I've had enough....play the damn music," McMahon snarled.

That's when Hulk Hogan's music hit. Hogan rushed into the building, among huge applause. He tore his shirt and defeated all 78 of the former WWE Superstars that had bull rushed the building in protest. When Hogan had cleared the building of all the bad guys, he attempted to sit down in between Maryse and the Miz. Triple H said,

"Ummmm thanks for saving the day and all; but, we can't let you stay. You aren't allowed here."

A dejected Hogan left the building. There wasn't a dry eye in the audience and no one noticed Waylon Mercy, who hung upside down the entire evening underneath Mark Henry's chair. Never fear WWE Universe. Vince McMahon wasn't scared. He knew that no matter what happened next, he could always call RoboCop.